Lefty's

Friday, theme song: Love Hangover

Ok, I've got a hangover but I wouldn't say it was the sweetest. As a matter of fact, it sucks ass. Seriously. It's that weird kind of not-quite-sick but definitely-not-well thing going on.

Anyway, last night I opted for the dress. Which is cool since I can whip out the shorts tomorrow. If it rains, I swearforedalawd I'm going to go straight apeshit. Back to the night:

I hate Brooklyn. Well not hate the borough, more like I hate trekkin my ass to Bk alone. Some how I always manage to get lost. I took the train too far in so I had to get off and take a cab. Trust me to get in the one cab that has no farkin idea where he's going. I had to get out on some random block and ask directions from a guy in a wheelchair. I shit you not. I get pointed in the right direction but of course there isn't a cab to be found at this point, to whit wheelchair guy yelled "Go up to Atlantic". I then had to walk 3 blocks in a neighborhood that looked like it was straight out of the movie Bones, in a dress. And four inch heels. Which brought to mind lyrics from a Mighty Sparrow song (that's an old time soca artist for those of you I just confused) "round the corner posing
Bet your life is something they selling..." Can yall say "propositioned much." Sheesh. Finally my What Life Must Be Like On The Stroll experience came to an end when Habib/Ahmad/Mohammed whateverthefuckhisnamewas pulled up in a town car. He whisks me away from life on the edge, straight to Southpaw.

Southpaw.

You suck.

Straight up.
Besides Von Pea, Che Grand, Spec Boogie and Euclid, the show blew MAMMOTH ASS. You may think I am just saying that because I dig those guys rhyme style but if you know me, there isn't a sycophantic groupie bone in my body. Everyone else sucked harder than Jenna Jameson. Word up. Specially that midget guy (who went on last) trying to call me out for talking in the middle of him introducing himself. Yeah, it was a wise decision to give up that arguement. He wouldn't have won especially since I was very "Um, hi dude, who the fuck are you anyway?" It seems that Lefty's has never heard of the term soundcheck. The mikes were low, garbling the words, the acoustics in the joint were bad enough without the speakers being so crappy. They need to work it out. I, for one, will not be getting my ass lost to visit that spot ever again in my crazy life. Thank goodness my boys killed it, even though the crowd was a tad less than appreciative. However I can't blame them seeing as how we had to sit through 6 terrifically HORRIBLE acts to see them. I remember threatening Von before I left that I would slap somebody's eyebrows off if they ever had to go on that late again.

I finally got out of that hell-hole they called a club at around 2 which meant I missed Pillow Theory completely and I'm sure that Kelsey et al are gonna have quite a bit to say to me about that shit at some point. My life is never easy. Sheesh. I hit muMs and he was standing outside of what used to be Nells with Forrest (um - you ain't hardly funny) and friends. I hopped a cab over there, having to part ways (boo hiss) with Raines and we managed to tie one on before heading to Coral Room to tie on a few more. I danced my ass off. I hope I still have some ass left or I'm going to have nothing to dance off tomorrow night.

Let me just say this about me and dancing: I noticed that I made quite a few people nervous last night... I also noticed more than a few spectators. It's unbelievable that a woman that can move makes men uncomfortable. I brought up the idea of two-stepping so that my dance partners wouldn't feel bad to muMs who promptly replied "Fuck that shit!" And he's right. The way that I move is as natural to me as breathing and talking shit. I couldn't help it if I tried. I find it sad that men cannot keep up. To that end I say sometimes you shouldn't even try. It's ok to let a woman dance circles around you. You ain't Danny Terrio and this ain't Dance Fever. But to be afraid of a woman who can swing her hips to the beat something crucial is some real sissy shit. Strap ya balls on and get on the dance floor.
Thanks.

I tried to pull an all nighter but I just couldn't, so I purchased some questionable chicken and pasta salad and took my behind home... sometimes ya just gotta know when to say when and my bed felt reeeeeeeeeeeeal good to me at 6 am.

Tonight I'm gonna take it easy and get my cook on. I sincerely hope Danny got all the fixins or somebody's gonna be walking their ass to the nearest Fairway. I'm thinking stuffed cornish hens, fresh greens, a salad and baked mac and cheese (with 5 different cheeses and truffle oil). I'm making myself hungry just thinking about it.

Tomorrow it's Beautiful Human's birthday... I have got to love that guy since it means ANOTHER trip to Brooklyn. There's gotta be a better way dammit. But still:
Check out the flyer (sorry Human, it was way to big to post as is - luv ya)

And that's all I've got to say about that. Catch y'all later...

- n I'm out, tying on my apron