There's a lesson I have learned that I'd like to share: there's only room on our backs for our bags. It is not our job to carry other people's shit and it's ok to say no.
That no thing is really tricky. I have found that in friendship, people tend to feel entitled to many things. This false sense of entitlement can lead to severe miscommunication and hard feelings.
For example:
Adam needs to borrow something from Beth. Beth doesn't really want to lend Adam the item. Beth makes all sorts of excuses as to why Adam should try to use something or ask someone else. Adam has a riposte for every excuse. Eventually Adam wears Beth down and she gives him the item. Days pass, Beth becomes increasingly aggravated because Adam has her shit. She begins to cuss Adam soundly, in the corner of her mind. She becomes snippy with Adam. Adam, as most men usually are, is thoroughly confused. He asks her what's wrong repeatedly to which, as most women will, Beth replies with a cryptic "nothing". Adam knows she's full of horse pucky and continues to ask what the hell her disease is until one day Beth bursts out in a fit of fury and screams "I just want my friggin wangdangdingdoodle back." Adam is all "wtf?!" and Beth is all "I didn't want to give it to you in the first place!" and Adam is all "well why the fuck didn't you just say so?" and Beth is all "cause you're my friend," and Adam is all "that's the dumbest shit I've heard all day..." and Beth is all "shut up!" Now Adam and Beth are a tad miffed at each other .
It could have all been avoided if Beth had just said no. That's one part of being a friend, being strong and honest enough to just say no. It's your shit, you can decline as you wish and here's the best part: you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to give one, don't. Think of it this way, you don't explain to anyone why you won't just lick random body parts, it's your tongue, you do what you want with it. Same thing with favors, you don't have to do 'em.
Another part of being a friend is accepting a no without resentment. You ask for a favor and your friend says no, take that no in stride and find some other way to handle your business. Your friend is not your moms. They don't owe you their friendship or their favors. If you ask for something that you can't have, don't get all salty. It's their shit/time and not yours. It's not even for you to ask why. Like the song says, it's their prerogative (see, Bobby's good for something, god bless his forever tweakin n geekin self).
I was just on the phone with my boy who I asked to borrow something. He asked me why. I explained why (gotta answer the holder of the item when one is the beg-ee). He started giving me reasons why I should just use what I had. I did an Adam for half a second before I realized what was going down and said, "dude, just say no. It's ok. It's your shit." So he said no and the conversation kept moving. See how easy that was?
Now I'm doing the favor of sharing the knowledge with you.
Take it or shove it.
- deciding between the hoody and the scoop-neck
That no thing is really tricky. I have found that in friendship, people tend to feel entitled to many things. This false sense of entitlement can lead to severe miscommunication and hard feelings.
For example:
Adam needs to borrow something from Beth. Beth doesn't really want to lend Adam the item. Beth makes all sorts of excuses as to why Adam should try to use something or ask someone else. Adam has a riposte for every excuse. Eventually Adam wears Beth down and she gives him the item. Days pass, Beth becomes increasingly aggravated because Adam has her shit. She begins to cuss Adam soundly, in the corner of her mind. She becomes snippy with Adam. Adam, as most men usually are, is thoroughly confused. He asks her what's wrong repeatedly to which, as most women will, Beth replies with a cryptic "nothing". Adam knows she's full of horse pucky and continues to ask what the hell her disease is until one day Beth bursts out in a fit of fury and screams "I just want my friggin wangdangdingdoodle back." Adam is all "wtf?!" and Beth is all "I didn't want to give it to you in the first place!" and Adam is all "well why the fuck didn't you just say so?" and Beth is all "cause you're my friend," and Adam is all "that's the dumbest shit I've heard all day..." and Beth is all "shut up!" Now Adam and Beth are a tad miffed at each other .
It could have all been avoided if Beth had just said no. That's one part of being a friend, being strong and honest enough to just say no. It's your shit, you can decline as you wish and here's the best part: you don't owe anyone an explanation. If you don't want to give one, don't. Think of it this way, you don't explain to anyone why you won't just lick random body parts, it's your tongue, you do what you want with it. Same thing with favors, you don't have to do 'em.
Another part of being a friend is accepting a no without resentment. You ask for a favor and your friend says no, take that no in stride and find some other way to handle your business. Your friend is not your moms. They don't owe you their friendship or their favors. If you ask for something that you can't have, don't get all salty. It's their shit/time and not yours. It's not even for you to ask why. Like the song says, it's their prerogative (see, Bobby's good for something, god bless his forever tweakin n geekin self).
I was just on the phone with my boy who I asked to borrow something. He asked me why. I explained why (gotta answer the holder of the item when one is the beg-ee). He started giving me reasons why I should just use what I had. I did an Adam for half a second before I realized what was going down and said, "dude, just say no. It's ok. It's your shit." So he said no and the conversation kept moving. See how easy that was?
Now I'm doing the favor of sharing the knowledge with you.
Take it or shove it.
- deciding between the hoody and the scoop-neck
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