Only My Friends...

Tuesday into Wednesday, theme song? Kiss you back followed by Funky

I swear. For some reason, I am one of those people that know some real characters.

I get in from checking on Gramma and make a few phonecalls. Not much is going on in the Land of the Lost so I settle in and try to get some work done. Unfortunately for me, I’m extremely distracted. Someone I care about has fallen off the face of this earth and I’m a tad perturbed about it. The weird thing is everyone I know has the same habit. We hang tight then go in-cog-negro for a while. But at least we warn each other. I have no idea what is going on but I hope everything is everything.

Moving right along; The distraction is not conducive to doing anything but crossing and uncrossing my eyes, so I call Negro Loco and ask him if he wants to meet me outside for a walkabout. I grab my Baby (which needs grip tape) and throw on my converse (which I damn well shouldn’t be skating in) and head out. NL tows me down Riverside drive on his bike (hilarity ensues) and we laugh about the general nonsense that plagues our lives. At the end of the ride, we have some Real Talk and I get a hug. It is definitely life’s little pleasures that make it all worth living, I swear it is.

I get back upstairs and actually manage to get some work done. Thank goodness. I straighten up my room, label some shoe boxes, arrange the perfumes on my dresser by size (OCD holla!), and throw out some worn socks (oh the pain). Finally I fall asleep, only to be awoken by 730 calling at like 4 am in a complete tizzy. It seems that one of the broads he was dealing with showed up at his crib while he was with some other dame and his brother, not knowing he had company, let the broad in. Might I add, said broad is Thick. To hear the tale told, home girl walks in the room, sees the other chick (who I’m told is her homegirl) and it turned into wrestle mania up in that bitch. Immediately I start laughing.

7 must have suplexed Thicky to get her out of the room and get this: the other chick went out the window! I nearly wet myself. Who does that? I asked 7 if she made it the ground and he didn’t know because he was outside in his hallway trying not to get his ass beat by Thicky when the other chick went "BonZaaaaaaaaaai". Oh man, tears are rolling down my face at this point. Anyway, I asked him what all the ruckus was that I was hearing in the background. Turns out 7 is locked in his room and Thicky is trying to break his door down. I shit you not. So I automatically, between choking fits of laughter, ask “what are you going to do” and this fool tells me that’s what he called me for because if he goes out there he’s “gonna hurt that bitch”.

Me? How the hell can I help? His ass is in Baltimore. And even if he were here, that bitch is big! Sage Chameleon advice “call the cops before she does, you know how that shit go”. Fastforward through some more door banging, “nigga bring your punk ass out here’s” and me reminding him that I told him the chick wasn't right in the cabesa when I met her (but his name is 730 so that doesn’t count I guess). The cops come and this broad tries to tell them he hit her. And I swear to you, the cop says:
“How could he hit you when he locked himself in his bedroom like a sissy?”

I do not make this shit up.
I am still laughing.
I love my boy dearly, really I do, but damn that’s some funny shit.

There was more to the night, but I’ll stop here for comic relief.

- n I’m out.