Reality Just Slapped Me... Hard

I have been called many things in life. Most of them I wouldn't spell out to my Gramma on a bad day. Brilliant, hyper-intelligent, smart, dumber than a blonde hoe's opinion, beautiful, stunning, adorable, cute, sexy, mean, bitch, horrendous, evil and just down right sheisty. I've been told that my face is like ice when I move through the streets but my walk is downright dangerous. I've been sensual, sexual, frigid and meaner than a junkyard dog.

Here's the truth, I am a nucking futs, a certified lunatic. Compulsive, obssessive, neurotic, disordered, anti-overly social, a veritable cornocopia of pure unadulerated nonsense and a shit load of fun if you catch me in the right mood without a wedgie. But here's where reality slaps the shit out of me....

No matter what I am, I can do any damned thing I want to do if I set my hyper-active mind to it. And short of being just plain stupid anyone can. I believe it. I have to believe it.

You see, for all of the sordid details of my life, for all of the self-inflicted drama and unavoidable pain, I'm still here with a lot more of my being in tact than most people. If I just stop coming up with excuses for why shit won't work, I may just surprise my miniature ass off by finding that something, something that I set my quicksilver gray cells to is going to turn out just the way I want it.

So, to those that I have stood by, those I have supported, those I have loved and those I have believed in, it's about to get real because I am starting to get the picture. The mammoth picture.

To those that I could give less than a rats ass about, for those that say I turned on them that have no ambition themselves. For the non-believers that still think it's ok to fuck for sport, idle away their days wallowing in being absolutely no one to nobody. For those that wish ill because they think I ain't shit WHEN I WARNED THEM I WASN'T SHIT FROM JUMP (and they enjoyed my inherent grimeyness), I hope your reactions are speedy so you can kiss my ass when I pass you by....