The Covenant

A veritable BONANZA of bad acting. It suuuuuuuucked! I wanted to head down to 125th, beat up the bootlegger, get my five bucks back and go buy a bag to take the edge off the headache I got watching this piece of shit. The one thing this movie did is prove to me that if this nincompoop that wrote that supershitty screenplay could sell that misbegotten story, I can sell my sideways tales of mischief.

Nothing could save this crap from the bowl. It didn't even have any nifty fx to keep my bleeding eyes busy. The story-line was keeeerappy. It jumped from point to point with absolutely no cohesion whatsoever, the sets were staid and hella boring and each and every one of the "actors" in this farce put a monkey ball in their left cheek and commenced to slobbin. Oh yeah, the camera angles, lighting and props puffed air into a sphincter as well. I've spent a more interesting time trying not to fart in the presence of mine peers than I did watching this flick. If it weren't for the fast-forward function on my beat-to-hell ps2, I would most surely be dead. Coroner's final finding? Homocide by bad cinema.

They had to be trying to kill us all with this spear of horrid movie-making. What is this world coming to? I know that myself and a few of my misguided friends are going to hell in a handbasket, but at least Hollywood is coming with us for the ride.

I'm gonna go read a book and try to strengthen the brain cells assaulted by the advent of this crap. Some Agatha Christie should do the trick. Besides, my thumbs hurt. Qwerty keyboard or no, PDA's weren't meant for writing novellas.

By way of the Treo... (mobile blogging - bitches!!!)

- gittin mah reed awn