I went to bed at six am. No sleep, but at least I was in the bed.
The parents got in late last night and regaled me with tales of carnivale antics that made me miss home ever more. Soon. That's all I can say is soon. I just hope that I'm not all fired crazy to come back once I go.
Anyway, I sat down to write a while after talking to moms, who managed somehow fall asleep mid-sentence, but had a story-block. Most of the time these small tales are already mini-movies that I've dreamed. The Sea God's daughter is stuck in a rut on a dune in a desert because I just can't figure out what I want Y'mara to do next. Unlike most times, I do not have the whole thing pre-plotted in my head. The exposition seems fine, the building action is coming along but I have no climax or denouement. It's weirding me out. Seriously.
So I went to bed with Y'mara's plight heavy on my mind, hoping that Thoth or Seshat would stop by for a while and give me a dream that would help Y'mara along. The Gods of Writing came alright, and they left me this:
They say when lightening strikes, a body becomes immobile. Not so.
It flashed down from the heavens, struck her and she screamed aloud. "Father do not forsake me." The words ripped from her throat with a raw, hurt sound. Her sodden clothing began to steam as her entire form was illuminated. When the lightning stopped, she staggered, before falling to her knees. The onlookers watched in horror as she crawled to a nearby lamppost and pulled her body up slowly, hand over hand. One man made to move forward, as she released the post and stumbled forward, her hand outstretched as if she were a supplicant pleading with some unheeding God. Then she was struck again. Lightening streaked and the sheer force of it shook her body like a leaf in a storm. To all watching it seemed as if someone guided the stream of living electricity to her slight form. She trembled and smoked and screamed anew. "Set my soul free." Tears fell from the eyes of those who stood nearby helplessly, as nature ravaged, angry unforgiving. She fell again to her knees and there was an audible snap as bones splintered apart. Blood pooled around her legs as she pitched forward onto the side walk. Many gasped as her head met the concrete and they heard her skull split. No one knew where she got the strength to raise herself, but somehow she managed to turn herself over and began dragging herself backwards, away from those that gaped, open-faced at the tragedy unraveling before them. "Stay away," she begged, voice rasping between cracked, burned lips, "it is yet to be done." And no sooner than her lips fell silent, lightening struck yet again, near lifting her from the ground. Her last scream. "Finally," and her clothing went up in a roar of hellish fire. Still she screamed, wordless, garbled, awful sounds. When the light died and she was still, it began to rain, a deluge dousing the flames but the damage had long been done. She rose no more.
Ick!
No point in pushing the non-existent, so I got out of the bed, did a few poses to relax myself, took a tepid shower and got my sudoku on. I should have never picked up that damned puzzle. Now I may never put it down. I jawed for a while with Johnnie G about punks, posers and pickaninnies (and no, I do not use that term lightly), before going to assist my mother who must have felt the need to buy every grocery in the damned market. I really don't understand her facination with those big ass bottles of relish from Costco. Who the hell uses that much relish? My mother does, that's who.
I felt pent up, like I needed to be unleashed so I decided to go out for a spell and see if I could relax and feel a little less high-strung. I don't know what's going on with me right now. I don't want for anything. I'm not particularly worried about any one thing or other. My hair is sorta getting on my nerves but that's no biggie, I'll either wait it out to get the cut I want or shave the shit if I get too irritated. Besides the 3 tales that are sitting in my head, I'm not particularly thinking of anything, so I really don't understand why I feel so caged.
My walk outside took me down the block over the bridge and hella far. I don't know what in the hell comes over me but I walked from 161 in the Bx to 102 in Manhattan. At least the trip had a hell of a perk because I just walked in the door from Mama Mexico where enjoyed a sweet skirt-steak with cactus-pinapple pico de gallo and my absolute favorite spicy guacamole. A good meal can refresh a body. My belly is full, my mind is at ease and my legs got a hell of a workout. I've got to figure this walking thing out before I head out to the corner store one day and end up in Quebec.
I still feel a kind of way though. I dunno. I feel tense, tied, fettered, I-don't-fricken-know. I'm hoping that music will solve whatever it is that ails me. I'd wait for the Jump&Funk Anniversary but I think my body would wrap itself into a knot to beat all knots if I tried to hang on until the 24th so I think I'll take myself to Apt tomorrow night and get myself a dose of DJ's Rich Medina and Akalepse. I think I need to shake my hemi-spheres to some nice shit and they're always good for some hot tunes.
Yeah.
That's the ticket.
Apt has never let me down.
I think I'll go call Ed now and see if his camera stopped giving him a headache. Damn technology...
- Gone... but will be back... sooner than you think...
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